getting out, originally uploaded by bbmarie.

“It is when we willingly embark, praying ‘take me where you would have me to go, make me what you would have me be’, that our journey becomes at once God’s and more uniquily our own.”

This quote by Julia Cameron from her beautiful little book, The Sound of Paper, has become an often repeated prayer of mine these days. Brenda and I are currently in our no money free fall that often happens this time of year when the country goes on vacation for the summer and commissions and painting sales fall off and we eat our way through all the money we stashed away for the lean times. The lean times stretch on and on while the kitchen shelves become more and more empty. Things like digital cameras and printers get broken that we can’t afford to fix and we just make do with broken and go without. It is in these times that we feel the reality of our total dependence of God for our the continuation of our lives. It is in these times that we ask God to take us by the hand and change what ever needs to changed and take us where ever we need to go physically, spiritually and mentally.

We are thankful for our big back yard garden right now and all that it has given to our table to make our meals healthy and beautiful. We are eating lots of kale because we have a lot of kale to harvest. The lettuce is starting to fall back but the green beans are coming in with vigor. We have been picking black berries and putting them into pancakes and muffins. There are plenty of flowers for the vases around the house. We still have the milk from our raw milk share to make cheese, kiefer, ice cream and all the other wonderful things we have learned to do with milk. The kids have been realy good about the lingering big pot of soup and the dissaperance of peanut butter and the general squeeze of a tight belt.

We are having a yard sale over the next three days in hopes to scrape enough together to make another house payment and to but more groceries on the shelf. Some times we become frightened for our future but then we remind ourselves that Jesus promised that our Father always watches out for all our needs and the Apostle Paul told us that God’s strength is made perfect in our weekness. So with that in mind, bring it on God, we want all that you have in store for us.

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the camp site, originally uploaded by bbmarie.

We just got back yesterday after a week end camping trip. We all rode bikes with the two littlest in a Burly trailer. We camped at Wabisis Lake which is about 28 miles from down town Grand Rapids. We were not aware of all the hills we would encounter on our choosen route. At one point when we were just about half way Brenda who was pulling a caboose bike with Dove doing her best to help with the peddeling pulled off to the side of the road on one particularly difficult long climb up hill and sat down and wept hard for a long time. At about this time I was wondering what I had been thinking when I came up with this idea to go camping on our bikes. Eventually Brenda wept her self clean and we continued on our way.

We made it to the camp ground after about six hours. Our journey was a difficult adventure we all were in together. When we finnaly set up our camp it was a great relief to just be there but also in the back of every body’s mind was the trip home awaiting us.

Soon after we arrived a couple of guys came in to the site right next to ours who at first seemed rough and even a little scary….a rebel flag, no shirts, tatoos and plenty of cussing. As is turned out Terry and Danny were very cool and generous. As I got to know them it turned out they were really into music and on Saturday night they managed to burrow a guitar from the chirstian college kids up the way and we were able to make some music together.

Our last night on Saturday about 3:45 AM half of us woke up in our tent to evil moskitos doing there best to bring us over into the pit of hell’s deepest torments when a fit broke out in the camp close enough to here the fists smaking into flesh. There were lots of wicked words and threats exchanged and it sounded awful but at the same time it seemed like we were watching a Will Farrow movie with the just the sound and now picture. The fight provided a wierd distraction from the fact that we were not sleeping, feeling misirable and had a long, long, long bike trip home early that morning to look forward to.

We did get through that night and some even managed to fall back to sleep for a little while. Brenda discovered a different route home which included a long and beautiful bike trail along the Rogue river which saved us from those killer hills we endured on the way there. We even had breakfast in a cool little resteraunt in Rockford at the start of the bike trail.

When we finnaly returened home every one sort of collapsed into rest and a slack dullness for the next several hours. We did manage our homade pizza that night with a double batch of vinilla ice cream filled with big chunks of dark chocolate. We were home and we had done what we set out to do. Thank you God and now help us pay these bills that await there time in the wicker file.

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Brenda and I enjoy a quiet still moment before the day really gets going.

Backyard Garden 7/12/08, originally uploaded by bbmarie.

The bacyard garden has taken on even more importance to our family this year as we have done what we can to actually eat what we grow and reduce our dependency on the grocery store. We are still a long way from total self suffeciency but we are on that journey and our quest becomes even more focused as we watch our nation slip further every day over the cliff of too much consuming and driving and too little creating and saving. Our culture has gone too far away from all that really matters. Read the artical headlines of any of the leading magazines targeting the ladies while you wait to check out with your grocries and see what we are thinking about as a nation…..”sexy tips to turn him on”, “eat what you want and still loose weight”, “new ways to decorate with thrift store finds”…. What in the hell are we thinking and what will any of this matter when we go to the grocery store to stock up and find it closed or go to gas up and find the pumps finaly dry ?

Yes I have been reading Howard Kunstler and it has left me sober, edgey but hopeful. I feel like the life Brenda and I have been living for the past 20 odd years makes more sense now than ever. We have always lived on a wing and a prayer. We have been digging through dumpsters and planting gardens off and on our entire married adventure and now as the storm clouds darken over the “american dream” Brenda pours over her new book on wild foraging as I slowly add to the wood pile and go back to memorizing scripture verses.

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Solid Geometry, originally uploaded by bbmarie.

Tomorrow night we are playing our show with John Rybicki at the Literary Life Book Store at the corner of Wealthy and Eastern streets at 6:30 - 9:00. This will be the second time that Solid Geometry has shared the stage with Mr Rybicki. His poetry is visonary and robust. He will be reading from his new book We Bed Down Into Water. John’s wife Julie, my sister inlaw died of cancer this past April and the wound of this great loss is still to fresh to have words but tomorrow night we will find words, melody and rythms to celibrate all that is good in life and that which must continue. The seed has gone into the ground and now pushing up against the stubborn soil. See you there.

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